I am madly in love with you, thoroughly distracted by you. Just like in the romance novels, wholly, terribly, utterly, deeply and I almost can’t help it. For me that’s a problem because I do not know how to love without giving all of myself with reckless abandon. My body aches from the strains of having to care so deeply & from the unfamiliarity of it all. Past pain is a constant reminder, holding me back sometimes and I keep searching for signs, looking for gaps, loopholes in you. I realize I may be incapable of finding a home in my heart for the love you give, I am always questioning it’s source. I admit I am more broken than I like to admit and I learned that sometimes if you ignore something long enough it fades away but on this frosty night, my heart is breaking and I feel it’s shards piercing through my skin. They told me love heals broken souls so why can my fingers still go in through these bullet holes?