Confession (Pt 1)

I like to stay away from the things that seem to have an effect on me

Try to prevent the impending attachment

Although I can’t speak ofΒ  success

They always find a way and we become like magnets and metal

 

‘Change’ is the only permanent word in my dictionary

And I think ‘I love you’ because I am never sure

I don’t talk about how depression hits me the most at home

Where all the things I love are right with me.

 

I am guilty of wanting more

And I don’t know if it’s being ambitious or greedy

But don’t tell me to settle for less.

 

All the things I preach against are the mistakes I’ve made

That I almost couldn’t forgive myself for

But eventually did.

 

My soul feels like it ages per second

Some days I haven’t lived at all.

I was a 1 year old 365 days ago

I am 12 now.

 

I want to pray for it all to end

But how can I pray without belief?

And how can I believe while I am ashamed?

 

I am addicted to the high that this madness brings

And I know that the end of a thing is the beginning of another

But how can I let go of my pain,

When it birthed my happiness?

Poet amongst other things

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